Leaving Home: The Emotional Journey

The lessons at a glance

1. What leaving home really feels like

Leaving home for university or work is often described as exciting, and it is. It is also a loss of routines, people and places all at once, so most people feel a mix of emotions that can change from hour to hour. Knowing what is normal makes it much easier to ride out.

• Excitement and sadness often arrive together, and that is normal.
• The move is big because many supports and routines change at once.
• Feelings come in waves, and can return after holidays.
• Naming the exact feeling helps you choose the right response.
• Avoid big decisions while you settle; talk to people first.

2. Preparing emotionally before you go

Most preparation for university is about grades, forms and packing. Emotional preparation gets less attention, yet it is what helps you through the harder weeks. A few honest conversations and a little planning now can make a real difference.

• Emotional readiness deserves as much planning as academics.
• Realistic expectations protect you from disappointment.
• Agree contact and visit plans with family before you go, and review them later.
• Familiar objects and tastes make a new room feel like home.
• Find support contacts while you feel fine.

3. Your first week and first month plan

The first weeks set the pattern for the rest of the year. You do not need to do everything, but a simple plan stops you drifting, helps you meet people and gives you something to hold on to on the harder days.

• Join official new-student groups before you arrive.
• In week one, say hello, share snacks and try a few societies.
• Build a routine with study, meals, sleep and people.
• Avoid going home every weekend and calling home constantly at first.
• Check in with yourself after a month and adjust.

4. Homesickness in depth: a daily plan and when to get support

Homesickness is the longing for familiar people and places, and it is one of the most common experiences of new students. The Stress and Resilience module introduces it; this lesson goes further, with the signs to watch for, a daily plan and clear points at which to ask for help.

• Homesickness is very common and can come back later in the year.
• Signs can be emotional, mental and physical.
• A simple daily routine with people, movement and sleep helps.
• Talking about it works better than hiding it.
• If it persists or disrupts life, contact your university's wellbeing or counselling service.

5. Staying close to family from far away

Moving away changes your relationship with your family, but it does not have to weaken it. With a sensible routine, an understanding of time zones and some honest conversations, many students find they become closer in new ways.

• Regular, planned contact helps; very frequent contact early on can make settling harder.
• The UAE does not change its clocks, so differences with the UK shift by an hour twice a year.
• Share details and ask about their lives too.
• Set boundaries kindly and explain why.
• Plan visits, and invite family to see your new life.

6. Culture shock and reverse culture shock

Culture shock is the disorientation of moving from a familiar culture to an unfamiliar one. Reverse culture shock is the less expected version: feeling out of place when you go back home. Both are normal, both are temporary, and both can teach you a lot about yourself.

• Culture shock comes in stages, and you may cycle through them more than once.
• Small things can feel huge on tired days; that is normal.
• Mix with both international and local students, and use societies and support services.
• Reverse culture shock is common when you return home, and it is temporary.
• You can carry the best of both cultures.

7. Identity and independence: deciding who you want to be

Leaving home gives you more space than ever to decide how you live: what you eat, when you sleep, who you spend time with and what you stand for. That freedom is exciting and can also feel unsteady. This lesson helps you use it on purpose.

• Emerging adulthood is a recognised stage with exploration and some instability.
• Independence is built skill by skill.
• Clear values make new choices easier.
• Balance new experiences with familiar comforts.
• You can change and still stay close to your roots.

8. When and how to ask for help

Asking for help is one of the most useful adult skills, and university is full of people whose job is to help you. Knowing who does what, and what to say, makes it far easier to reach out early, before a small problem grows.

• Asking for help early is a strength and usually leads to simpler solutions.
• Tutors, counsellors, union advisers, disability services and doctors each help in different ways.
• Be specific: how long, and what it is affecting.
• In an emergency, call the local emergency number straight away.
• Save support numbers now, before you need them.

Talk about it, then try it

The real-life practice tasks from each lesson. Pick one or two a week and agree when you will check in.

1. What leaving home really feels like
   • Write down three feelings you expect to have in your first month away and one thing that would help with each.
   • Ask one person who has moved away from home (a cousin, older friend or teacher) what surprised them most in their first month.
   • Start a two-line evening journal now, so the habit is already in place when you move.
2. Preparing emotionally before you go
   • Have a 15-minute conversation with a parent or carer about contact: how often, how and when you will review it.
   • Write a goodbye list of five people and one thing you want to say to each.
   • Find your future university's wellbeing or counselling page and save the contact details in your phone.
3. Your first week and first month plan
   • Write your own first-week plan: three events to attend, two societies to try and one place to explore.
   • Fill in a sample weekly timetable for your first month, including a Sunday evening activity.
   • Set a reminder in your calendar for an end-of-month check-in with the questions from this lesson.
4. Homesickness in depth: a daily plan and when to get support
   • Write your personal daily plan for a homesick week, with one item for morning, daytime, evening and bedtime.
   • Write your most common homesick thought on a card with a kinder alternative.
   • Save your future university's wellbeing contact and one UAE support line in your phone.
5. Staying close to family from far away
   • Agree a call routine with your family and put it in both calendars, adjusted for any clock change.
   • Work out the time difference between the UAE and a city you might study in, in both winter and summer.
   • Plan one shared activity you could do on a video call, such as cooking a family recipe together.
6. Culture shock and reverse culture shock
   • Write down three small things that might trigger culture shock for you abroad, and a comfort plan for each.
   • Find one national or cultural society and one faith or interest group at a university you are considering.
   • Before your first trip home, write a short list of things that may have changed for you and for your family.
7. Identity and independence: deciding who you want to be
   • Write your top five values and one action for each that you could keep up at university.
   • Choose one independence skill you feel least confident about and practise it three times this week.
   • Start a decision log and record three decisions you make this week, with your reasons.
8. When and how to ask for help
   • Find your (future) university's wellbeing, counselling and crisis pages and save the links in one note on your phone.
   • Adapt one of the scripts in this lesson to your own words and keep it in your notes.
   • Save 999, 998, 800-SAKINA and Itma'en 800506 in your phone contacts, plus the crisis number for the country you plan to study in.

Quiz

Name: ______________________ Date: ____________ Circle one answer for each question.

Answer key

1. D: Bangor University counselling: accept that you can feel sad and still enjoy yourself; enjoying university is not disloyal to people back home.
2. D: Deakin University: homesickness may start a few days after arriving or not until a few weeks later.
3. A: NASSP / The Jed Foundation (Set to Go): 60 percent of first-year college students wished they had received more help with emotional preparation.
4. C: UKCISA: visiting home too often is discouraged, with once or twice a term suggested.
5. C: University of Liverpool: plan around 30 to 35 hours of study a week, which is sufficient and leaves time for friends and leisure.
6. A: University of Liverpool: build a routine, since fuller days leave less time for homesickness or loneliness.
7. D: University of Liverpool: nearly two out of three students feel homesick to some extent over the first six weeks.
8. B: Bangor University counselling: homesickness can affect students who have left home before.
9. D: u.ae: the UAE is 4 hours ahead of GMT. GOV.UK: in summer the UK is on BST, one hour ahead of GMT, so the UK is 3 hours behind the UAE.
10. C: GOV.UK: clocks go back one hour at 2am on the last Sunday in October.
11. B: UKCISA: in the reintegration stage you may reject aspects of the new culture; this is 'quite a healthy reaction' and part of reconnecting with your own values.
12. B: UKCISA: family and friends may expect you to be the same as when you left, while your views have changed and they have changed too.
13. C: American Psychiatric Association blog: agreed features are role exploration, instability, self-focus, feeling in between, and wide-open possibilities.
14. C: University of New Hampshire handout: Arnett's 'Big Three' are taking responsibility for oneself, making independent choices and achieving financial independence.
15. C: Mind: most institutions offer a free counselling service, independent of tutors or GP, and you can self-refer without seeing a GP or having a diagnosis.
16. A: Mind: many students' unions have a welfare officer or advice service offering free, independent advice and referrals.

General information only, written from the sources listed in each online lesson. Laws, numbers and services change, so check official sources. Life-Ready Society, https://lifereadysociety.com/leaving-home/