Finding a mentor and how to ask

A mentor is someone a few steps ahead of you who shares advice and perspective. The best mentoring relationships are led by the mentee: you, so it helps to know who to ask, how to ask, and how to keep it going.

What a mentor can (and cannot) do

• UCL Careers says alumni mentors can explain what working in a sector is really like, explain recruitment processes and advise on presenting yourself.
• Some mentors may help with work shadowing or introduce you to other contacts (UCL Careers), but this is a bonus, not the point.
• Trinity College Dublin's Careers Service puts it clearly: 'Your mentor is your guide and helper, not your manager.'
• Do not ask a mentor for a job or internship. Trinity says mentors will probably decline.

Where to find one

• Your university's alumni mentoring platform. UCL and Trinity both run online systems where students search alumni by course, sector or location and send a request.
• Careers service mentoring schemes, some of which run only at certain times of year (Graduate Recruitment Bureau).
• Teachers, coaches, older students, family friends and people from volunteering. A mentor does not need a formal title.
• In the UAE, the government portal u.ae lists Youth Hubs for ages 15 to 35 and the Arab Youth Center, which runs initiatives connecting young people with industry professionals.
• Seniority is not everything: a recent graduate often knows the current entry routes best (Graduate Recruitment Bureau).

How to ask: a five-part message

• Introduce yourself: your year and your course or subjects (Trinity).
• Describe your career ideas. If you do not have any yet, say so honestly (Trinity).
• Say clearly what you hope to gain, such as exploring a role or industry, developing a skill or getting help with networking (Trinity).
• Explain why you chose this person in particular (Trinity), and make one small, specific request such as a short call (UCL, Trinity).
• Keep it short (UCL), check spelling and grammar, and match the formality of their profile (Trinity). UCL also advises not sharing too many personal details in a first message.

A script you can adapt

• 'Dear Ms Haddad, I'm a Year 12 student in Abu Dhabi studying biology, chemistry and maths, and I'm considering a career in biomedical research.'
• 'I read about your work on diabetes research at [organisation] and would really value your perspective on how you got started and what skills matter most.'
• 'Would you be open to a 20-minute call or coffee at a time that suits you over the next few weeks? I'm happy to fit around your schedule.'
• 'Thank you for considering this. Kind regards, [Name]'
• If you are under 18, tell a parent or guardian before contacting or meeting an adult you do not know, use school or official platforms where possible, and meet in public or on video.

If there is no reply, and once they say yes

• Mentors are busy, so silence may not be personal. Trinity suggests sending a reminder or approaching someone else if you hear nothing within 7 days; UCL suggests one follow-up after about a week.
• Once someone agrees, ask how they prefer to communicate and how often you can contact them (Trinity).
• Be clear about what you hope to gain and make a simple plan of the steps towards it (Trinity). Trinity suggests aiming for a relationship of about six months as a guideline.
• Before each conversation, review your goals and what you have done since last time. Trinity says you are expected to lead the relationship, and your mentor should not have to chase you.
• Either side can end the relationship. If it is not working, thank them, close it politely and try someone else (Trinity).