Talking to new people at events: openers, exits and follow-up

Walking into a room full of strangers is uncomfortable for almost everyone. A few prepared lines, a short introduction and a polite way to leave make it far easier.

Before you go

• Set a small, specific goal. Duke University's Career Hub suggests goals such as introducing yourself to three new people; Dartmouth's Rockefeller Center suggests meeting five new people.
• Prepare a short introduction (often called an elevator pitch). The University of Bristol suggests around 30 seconds to 1 minute covering your key skills, experiences and goals, and practising it so it sounds natural.
• Example for a student: 'I'm Layla, I'm in Year 13 in Dubai and I'm hoping to study environmental engineering. I've been volunteering with a beach clean-up group and I'm curious how people get into water management.'
• Check who is speaking or attending, and think of one or two questions about their work.

Openers that work

• Ask about the event: 'How are you enjoying the event so far?' or 'Have you been to this event before?' (Duke Career Hub).
• Mention something from the event, such as a speaker's point, and ask what they thought of it (Duke Career Hub).
• With an employer who has just presented, thank them, say what interested you and ask them to say more about one specific point (Duke Career Hub).
• Location and shared context work too: the venue, the weather, or where someone travelled from (Dartmouth Rockefeller Center).
• Keep to safe topics. Duke's guide suggests avoiding politics, religion, relationship status, health and personal finances with people you have just met.

Joining a group and keeping it going

• Look for a group that seems open, listen for a few moments, then at a pause ask: 'Do you mind if I join your conversation?' (Duke Career Hub).
• If you interrupt by accident, apologise and introduce yourself once the speaker has finished.
• Ask open follow-up questions based on what people say, look for things in common, and leave room for others to talk.
• If you notice someone hovering at the edge of your group, invite them in. Both Duke and Dartmouth recommend this.
• Body language: Dartmouth suggests eye contact without staring, uncrossed arms and hands out of your pockets.

Leaving a conversation politely

• Dartmouth notes that ending a conversation gracefully is often the most stressful part, so prepare a line in advance.
• Wait for a natural pause, then say something like: 'It was really nice meeting you, and I hope we stay in touch' (Duke Career Hub).
• If you say you are going to get a drink or something to eat, actually do it (Duke Career Hub).
• You can also introduce your conversation partner to someone else before you move on (Dartmouth).
• Watch for signs the other person wants to move on, such as looking around or trying to leave, and wrap up kindly.

Follow-up: where networking actually happens

• Before leaving a good conversation, ask how they prefer to stay in touch, for example: 'Do you mind if we connect on LinkedIn, or do you prefer another way?' (Duke Career Hub).
• The National Careers Service says to always follow up with an action: if someone gives you a name to contact, get in touch.
• After the event, write two lines of notes on each person: their name, role and one thing you discussed.
• Send a short thank-you message within a day or two that mentions something specific from your conversation.
• LinkedIn's terms set a minimum age of 16 (see the CVs and Interviews module). If you are younger, a polite email via your school or the event organiser works fine.