Beating phone anxiety and making the call

Many young people would rather send ten messages than make one two-minute phone call. Yet some things, from urgent repairs to medical appointments, still move fastest by phone. The good news is that phone confidence is a skill you can build, one small call at a time.

Why calls feel harder than messages

• On a call you cannot edit, rehearse or take five minutes to reply, so it can feel like a live test.
• You also lose facial expressions, so silences feel longer and you may worry the other person is judging you.
• Feeling nervous before a call is very common and does not mean you are bad at it; a university health service describes 'telephobia' as widespread and offers practical ways to manage it.
• Remember the person answering usually takes dozens of similar calls a day; to them, yours is ordinary and quickly forgotten.
• If phone anxiety is part of wider anxiety that stops you doing everyday things, talk to someone you trust or see the Mental Health module for support options.

Prepare in five minutes

• Write one sentence that says why you are calling, for example: 'I am calling to book an appointment for next week.'
• List the details they will probably ask for: full name as on your ID, date of birth, address, account, booking or student number.
• Write down your two or three key questions so you can tick them off; the NHS gives the same advice for medical appointments.
• Have a pen and paper or a notes app open so you can write down names, dates and reference numbers as you hear them.
• Check the opening hours first and call at a quieter time if you can, rather than at lunchtime or just before closing.

A simple call script

• Opening: 'Hello, my name is Sara Ahmed. I am calling about...' Say your name slowly; it is the part people most often mishear.
• Detail: give the key facts in order, for example 'I have a booking for Thursday at 3pm, reference 4471, and I need to change it.'
• Ask: make one clear request, such as 'Could you move it to next week?' or 'What are my options?'
• Confirm: repeat back what was agreed: 'So that is Tuesday at 10am with Dr Khan. Is that right?'
• Close: 'Could I take your name and a reference number, please? Thank you for your help.'

Calming your nerves

• Take a few slow breaths before you dial; UMass Amherst's health service suggests deep breathing before calls.
• Try relabelling the jittery feeling as excitement or alertness rather than fear; the same UMass article suggests this reframe.
• Stand up or walk while you talk if that helps your voice sound steady.
• If you lose your place, it is fine to say 'Sorry, give me one second to check my notes.'
• If you did not understand something, ask: 'Sorry, could you repeat that more slowly?' This is normal, not rude.

Build confidence gradually

• Start with low-stakes calls: asking a restaurant about opening hours or calling a relative you are comfortable with.
• Then move to slightly harder calls: booking a haircut, checking a delivery or asking a shop if an item is in stock.
• Count it as a win when you make the call, whatever the outcome.
• Use text, webchat or email when they genuinely suit the task, but do not use them to avoid every call; the UMass article suggests treating these as a middle ground while you practise.
• If you reach voicemail, leave a short message: your name, number (said twice, slowly), the reason for the call and the best time to reach you.