Why speaking feels scary, and how nerves can help

A racing heart before a talk is not a sign that you are bad at speaking. It is your body getting ready to perform. The Workplace module's presentations lesson covers the basics of calming down; this lesson goes deeper into what nerves are, why they are less visible than you think, and how to put them to work.

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What is happening in your body

• Speaking in front of people can trigger the fight or flight response, the body's automatic reaction to something it sees as a challenge or threat.
• Psychology Tools explains the common changes: your heart rate rises, breathing quickens to bring in more oxygen, and your muscles tighten and may tremble if you stay still.
• Blood is also diverted away from your digestive system towards the systems needed for action, and you may notice a dry mouth, nausea or 'butterflies' in your stomach (Psychology Tools).
• None of this is dangerous. It is the same system that helps an athlete sprint or a goalkeeper react quickly.
• The American Psychological Association (APA) notes that nervousness is a physical response, and feeling nervous does not mean you will perform poorly. Leadership coach Kristi Hedges, quoted by the APA, describes it as 'excitement directed inward'.

Your nerves are less visible than you think

• Psychologists call it the illusion of transparency: we believe other people can see our inner feelings far more clearly than they actually can.
• In a 2003 study by Savitsky and Gilovich, speakers rated their own nervousness more harshly than observers did.
• In a follow-up study in the same paper, speakers who were told about this illusion before their talk rated themselves higher in every respect than speakers who were not, and observers also rated them higher (as summarised by Wikipedia).
• So simply knowing this fact can help. Your shaking hands and pounding heart feel enormous to you and are often barely noticed by the room.
• Toastmasters International advises against apologising for nerves or small slips, because audiences often do not notice them. Saying 'Sorry, I am so nervous' points them out.
• Toastmasters also reminds speakers that people want you to succeed. Your classmates are on your side, not hoping you fail.

Try 'I am excited' instead of 'calm down'

• In a study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General (online in December 2013, in print in 2014), Harvard Business School researcher Alison Wood Brooks asked 140 people to give a short persuasive speech about why they would make good work partners, after telling them it would be filmed and judged by a committee.
• Before speaking, some participants said 'I am excited' and others said 'I am calm' (ScienceDaily, Medical News Today).
• The 'excited' group gave longer speeches and were rated by independent evaluators as more persuasive, competent and relaxed than the 'calm' group (as reported by ScienceDaily and Medical News Today).
• Brooks's explanation is that anxiety and excitement are both high-energy states, so relabelling nerves as excitement may be easier than trying to switch to calm.
• Try it: just before you stand up, say quietly to yourself 'I am excited'. Brooks is quoted as saying that, even if people do not believe it at first, saying 'I'm excited' out loud increases authentic feelings of excitement (Medical News Today).

Point your attention outwards

• The APA suggests reminding yourself that the talk is not about you. Focus on your topic and on explaining it clearly to the people in front of you.
• Toastmasters puts it as 'concentrate on the message, not the medium': shift your attention from your anxieties to your content and your listeners.
• Opening with a question for the audience takes the spotlight off you for a moment and gets them talking (APA).
• Making eye contact with different individuals turns 'the crowd' into a set of people, and noticing nods or smiles can boost your confidence (APA).
• Wellesley College's guidance adds that if one person looks bored, it is not necessarily your fault. Do not try to please everyone.

Build confidence step by step

• The NHS suggests breaking challenging social situations into smaller parts and working on feeling calmer with each one.
• A speaking ladder might look like this: ask one question in class; answer a teacher's question; read a paragraph aloud; speak for one minute to two friends; give a three-minute talk to your class.
• Climb one rung at a time and stay on it until it feels manageable before moving up.
• Toastmasters lists 'gain experience' as a key tip: regular speaking builds confidence in a way that reading about speaking cannot.
• School debating clubs, Model United Nations, student councils and youth Toastmasters-style clubs all give safe, regular practice.

When fear is more than nerves

• Some nerves before speaking are normal. The NHS describes social anxiety disorder as a long-term and overwhelming fear of social situations, and notes it usually starts during the teenage years.
• Signs the NHS lists include worrying about everyday activities such as starting conversations or speaking on the phone, fearing being watched or criticised, avoiding eye contact, and physical symptoms such as trembling, sweating or a pounding heartbeat.
• The NHS describes cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) as generally considered the best treatment for social anxiety.
• If fear of speaking stops you joining in at school, avoiding classes or making you feel unwell for days, talk to a trusted adult, your school counsellor or a doctor. The NHS says it is a common problem and there are treatments that can help.
• The Mental Health module explains how to find support in the UAE and abroad.