Choosing who to live with

The people you share a front door with shape your sleep, your studies and your mood for a whole year. A little honest thinking before you commit saves a lot of stress later.

How you end up with flatmates

• In university halls, UCAS notes that your housemates are usually allocated by the university, but you may be able to state a preference on your application if you have requirements or want to live with someone you already know.
• Use that box on the form. If you need a single-gender flat, a quiet or alcohol-free floor, or a flat suited to a health condition, say so clearly when you apply rather than hoping it works out.
• In private accommodation, UCAS says you may be able to choose your own housemates, and a lot of students move into private accommodation in their second year.
• If you apply late and halls are full, UCAS notes you may be able to team up with other students moving straight into private housing. Treat this like any other choice: meet them first.

Best friends are not always the best flatmates

• A great friend for evenings out may keep very different hours from you. Living together tests habits, not just personality.
• Think about what really matters day to day: sleep times, tidiness, how often people come round, noise, food, money and study habits.
• It is fine to stay close friends with someone and decide not to live with them. You can say: 'I love spending time with you, but I think we would drive each other mad over the washing up.'
• Equally, a quiet, considerate stranger can turn into a good friend precisely because daily life is easy.

Questions to ask before you commit

• 'What does a normal weekday look like for you? When do you usually sleep and wake up?'
• 'How tidy do you like the kitchen and bathroom? What bothers you most?'
• 'How often do you like having friends round, and do you ever have people stay over?'
• 'Do you have any routines I should know about, such as prayer times, fasting, early shifts, training or a part-time job?'
• 'How would you like us to handle bills and shared things like washing-up liquid and toilet roll?'
• 'If something is bothering you, would you rather I raised it straight away or saved it for a weekly catch-up?'

Money and reliability matter more than you think

• Shelter explains that under a joint tenancy in England you are all responsible for the whole rent, even if you pay different amounts. If one person stops paying, the landlord can ask the others to cover it.
• Shelter also says the landlord can ask any one tenant to pay for damage, even if that person did not cause it.
• So before signing a joint contract, ask yourself: is this person organised with money, and do they keep their word? Choose people you would trust to pay on time.
• Shelter recommends agreeing in advance, and writing down, what happens about unpaid rent or bills, damage, someone wanting to leave and how the deposit is returned.

Red flags to take seriously

• Someone who is vague or defensive about paying their share before you have even moved in.
• Pressure to sign quickly, or to let one person 'handle everything' with the landlord without the others seeing the contract.
• Strong disagreement on things that matter most to you, such as alcohol or smoking in the home, overnight guests or noise late at night.
• Disrespect for your faith, culture or boundaries in early conversations. It rarely improves once you share a kitchen.