Mental Health: Knowing When and How to Get Help · Lesson 6 of 8 · 12 min

Helping a friend who is struggling

Friends are often the first to notice when someone is not okay. You do not need to be an expert or fix everything. Your job is to notice, listen, and help your friend get support from someone who can do more.

Signs a friend may be struggling

Samaritans lists changes in mood or energy, such as being restless, angry, tearful or very tired.
Withdrawing: not wanting to see people, dropping things they used to enjoy, or not replying to messages.
Big changes in routine, such as sleeping or eating much more or less than usual.
Talking about feeling hopeless, worthless or trapped.
Not everyone shows signs. If something feels off, trust your instinct and check in.

Starting the conversation

Find a quiet, private moment and say what you have noticed: 'You've seemed really quiet lately. How are you doing, honestly?'
NHS Every Mind Matters suggests open questions that start with 'how', 'what', 'where' or 'when', which help people open up.
If they do not want to talk, do not push. Mind suggests something like: 'Hey, I'm here for you if you want to talk.'
Keep treating them normally. The NHS notes that changing how you act can leave someone feeling more isolated.

Listening well

Stay calm. Young Scot reminds friends that people need a calm atmosphere to talk, so try not to panic.
Let them talk and validate how they feel: 'That sounds really hard.' Mind says this can really help.
Listen without judging. You do not need to have answers; listening and taking them seriously helps (NHS).
Avoid quick fixes like 'just think positive' or comparing it with your own problems.

Secrets, safety and involving an adult

Never promise to keep a secret before you know what it is. You can say: 'I'll always try to help you, but if I'm worried you're not safe, I'll need to tell an adult.'
Mind says it is important to tell a trusted adult if you are uneasy about what a friend has shared or think someone could be in danger, even if they asked you not to.
Young Scot is clear that if your friend might hurt themselves, you cannot keep it a secret. Encourage them to speak up first, but keep them safe.
Telling an adult is not betrayal. Your friend came to you because they wanted help, and getting the right help is how you look after them.
Good adults to tell: a parent (yours or theirs), the school counsellor, a teacher you trust, or a doctor. In the UAE you can also call 800-SAKINA or Itma'en 800506 for advice on how to support someone.

Looking after yourself

Supporting someone can be upsetting. The NHS suggests being gentle with yourself and making time to relax and do things you enjoy.
Mind says you deserve to prioritise your own mental health, and staying well helps you support others.
You are a friend, not a therapist. It is okay to share the load with adults and professionals.
If a friend is in immediate danger, do not wait: call 999 or 998 in the UAE, or ask an adult to call (see the crisis lesson).

Practise in real life

Tick each one off when you have done it.

Practise an opening line out loud, such as 'You've not seemed yourself lately. Want to talk?', so it feels natural when you need it.
Write your 'never promise secrecy' sentence in your own words and save it in your notes.
Identify which adult at your school you would go to if you were worried about a friend.

Remember

Notice changes, check in privately and listen without judging.
Do not promise secrecy if someone may be at risk; involve a trusted adult.
You are not expected to fix it alone.
Look after your own wellbeing too.

Note: If you are struggling, you do not have to wait until things are very bad to ask for help. In the UAE: call 999 (police) or 998 (ambulance) if anyone is in immediate danger; Abu Dhabi's 800-SAKINA (800 725462) is a 24/7 Arabic and English support line; Dubai's Itma'en line, 800506, is free, in Arabic and English, daily from 9am to midnight. Numbers were checked on official UAE government sources in October 2026, but services can change, so save them and check them again from time to time. Advice here comes from UK charities and the NHS; the principles of listening and involving a trusted adult apply everywhere. If you are worried about a friend right now, talk to an adult today.

Check yourself

1. A friend tells you something worrying and asks you to promise not to tell anyone. They might not be safe. What should you do?

2. Which kind of question does NHS Every Mind Matters suggest using?

3. If your friend does not want to talk yet, what does Mind suggest?

4. Which is a sign Samaritans lists that someone may be struggling?

5. Why should you look after your own wellbeing while supporting a friend?