Harassment and stalking: spotting the pattern and keeping a record

Stalking rarely starts with a threat. It starts with messages, 'coincidences' and attention you did not ask for. Recognising the pattern early, and recording it carefully, is what turns a frightening situation into one the police can act on.

What stalking and harassment are

• Avon and Somerset Police use the word FOUR: behaviour that is Fixated, Obsessive, Unwanted and Repeated.
• Stalking can be physical (following, turning up uninvited at home, work or places you go), cyberstalking (social media, online tracking), unwanted communications (texts, calls, emails, letters, gifts) and surveillance (watching or monitoring you without consent).
• Avon and Somerset Police describe harassment as repeated, unreasonable behaviour that causes alarm, distress or fear; two or more incidents that leave you distressed or threatened generally count. You do not need to decide which label fits before reporting.
• The National Stalking Helpline leaflet stresses that stalking can happen with or without a fear of violence. Persistent unwanted contact is still stalking.
• It can be carried out by anyone: a stranger, a classmate, an online contact or someone you used to be friends with.

Keep a record from day one

• Catch22 advises keeping a diary that includes times, dates, locations, what happened, any vehicle details and how it made you feel.
• Write entries as soon as possible after each incident (National Stalking Helpline leaflet).
• Keep evidence: phone records, texts, emails, screenshots of web pages and chats, letters and gifts. Store copies somewhere safe, such as a cloud folder a trusted adult can also access.
• Tell neighbours, flatmates or colleagues, who may be able to help you collect evidence (Catch22). Avon and Somerset Police say friends and family can offer to store evidence for you.
• When you give evidence, ask the police to consider all the incidents together as one course of conduct, not one at a time (National Stalking Helpline leaflet).

Do not engage, but do not just block

• Do not try to reason with or reply to the person. Catch22 warns this may make things worse, and the National Stalking Helpline leaflet says not to engage in any way.
• Avon and Somerset Police caution that blocking alone is not a plan: it can push some stalkers towards more drastic ways of making contact. Report as well, and keep the evidence before you block.
• Tighten your privacy: limit what you share on social networks, review privacy settings, change passwords often and do not reuse them (National Stalking Helpline leaflet).
• Vary your daily routine and routes, and know your nearest safe place, such as a police station or a 24-hour supermarket with security and CCTV (National Stalking Helpline leaflet).
• Avon and Somerset Police point out that nothing you have done justifies a stalker's behaviour.

Reporting in the UK

• Call 999 if you are in immediate danger. For non-emergencies call 101 or report online (Avon and Somerset Police).
• Police can apply for Stalking Protection Orders, which can restrict where the person goes and whether they can contact you. They last a minimum of two years, and breaching one is a criminal offence (Avon and Somerset Police).
• The National Stalking Helpline is 0808 802 0300 (Catch22; National Stalking Helpline leaflet). Check current opening hours on its website.
• University students can also report to their university's security or student support team, who can help with safety planning on campus.

Reporting in the UAE

• In an emergency, call 999 from anywhere in the UAE (UAE Government portal).
• For non-urgent reports, the UAE Government portal lists Aman (Abu Dhabi Police) on 8002626, Al Ameen (Dubai Police) on 8004888 and Najeed (Sharjah Police) on 800151.
• Online harassment can be reported through the Ministry of Interior's eCrimes platform in the MoI UAE app, the Dubai Police eCrime website, Aman, or the Federal Public Prosecution's My Safe Society app (UAE Government portal).
• If you are under 18, tell a parent or trusted adult too. The Personal Safety module (ps-08 and ps-09) covers online safety and UAE emergency numbers in more detail.