Online and in-person connection: getting the balance right

Video calls home, group chats and online communities can be a lifeline when you live alone. They can also become a substitute that leaves you lonelier. The aim is to use online connection to support real-life connection, not replace it.

What online connection does well

• The NHS 5 steps to mental wellbeing recommend using video-chat apps to stay in touch with people who live far away, which is ideal for family in the GCC.
• The American Psychological Association's advisory on teen social media says features offering social support and emotional closeness can help during isolation or stress.
• Mind suggests online communities and interest-based forums, such as a book forum, as places to listen and share with people who have similar experiences.
• The Mental Health Foundation suggests using social media positively and seeking out online communities that share your interests.

Where it goes wrong

• The NHS advises not relying on technology or social media alone to build relationships.
• Mind notes that people usually share only the highlights of their lives online, and comparing yourself with others, especially photos of events you were not invited to, can make you feel more alone.
• The APA advises that social media should not reduce opportunities for in-person, back-and-forth interaction, and that technology use within an hour of bedtime is linked to sleep disruption.
• WHO suggests putting phones away during conversations as a simple way to strengthen connection.

Make calls home work for you

• Agree a regular time, for example a Sunday afternoon video call, so you have something to look forward to without checking your phone all day.
• YoungMinds describes how even a five-minute call with family lifted a student's mood for the rest of the day.
• Share the good things as well as the struggles, and be honest if you are finding things hard. Family often want to help.
• Balance calls home with building your local life; the University of Dundee advises keeping your home support network while building a new one.

Using online to get offline

• Use online tools to find in-person things: society pages, event listings, university apps and student group chats.
• Mind suggests online activities where you can watch first, such as some creative workshops, as a gentle step before joining in person.
• Turn online contact into a meeting: 'We are both in the same lecture. Want to grab a coffee after Thursday's class?'
• Stay safe when meeting people from online: meet in a public place and tell someone your plans (see Personal Safety).

A simple self-check

• After an hour online, ask yourself: do I feel more connected or less?
• If you scroll to avoid feeling lonely and feel worse afterwards, set a time limit or move apps off your home screen.
• Swap one passive scroll for one active contact each day: a message to a real friend, a voice note, or a call.