Day 2: Communication and Influence
Leaders listen first, speak clearly and give feedback that helps people grow.
Today's goal
By the end of today you can listen actively, make a short clear case for something, give SBI feedback and plan how to persuade someone with power to say yes.
Agenda
- Warm-upDid you hear me?10 min
- LearnActive listening that negotiators use15 min
- ActivityListening triads25 min
- LearnSpeaking up with confidence10 min
- ActivityThe one-minute stand25 min
- BreakBreak15 min
- LearnFeedback with SBI15 min
- ActivityFeedback role-plays25 min
- Case studyPersuading the principal25 min
- ReflectVoice check10 min
- QuizDay 2 quiz5 min
The session
Did you hear me?
Most people listen while planning what to say next. This warm-up shows how much we miss.
- Person A talks for one minute about a place they love.
- Person B then repeats back the three main points and one feeling they noticed.
- Person A scores the summary out of three.
- Swap and repeat.
Solo
Listen to a two-minute podcast clip or voice note from a relative. Without replaying it, write the three main points and one feeling. Then replay it and check.
Group
Pairs, with a strict one-minute timer called by the facilitator.
Related lessons: Active listening and asking good questions
Active listening that negotiators use
The Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School describes active listening as far more than nodding. It highlights three techniques.
- Paraphrasing: restate the other person's main points in your own words so they can correct you before misunderstandings grow.
- Inquiry: ask open questions to understand how they reached their view and what interests sit behind it.
- Acknowledgment: name the feelings or concerns you hear. Acknowledging is not the same as agreeing.
- Active listening is not passive: staying silent or saying 'I understand' is not enough.
- Useful openers: 'So what you are saying is ...', 'What makes this important to you?', 'It sounds like you are frustrated about ...'.
Related lessons: Active listening and asking good questions, Negotiation basics: BATNA and interests
Listening triads
Practise the three techniques with a speaker, a listener and an observer.
- Roles: speaker, listener, observer. Rotate three times, six minutes per round plus two minutes of feedback.
- Speaker topics (pick one): a decision you are struggling with, something you would change at school, a goal for next year.
- Listener must use at least one paraphrase, two open questions and one acknowledgment.
- Observer tallies each technique and notes one moment the speaker opened up.
- After each round the observer gives one specific piece of feedback.
Solo
Have a real five-minute conversation with a family member about their day. Use all three techniques, then write down what you learned that you would normally have missed.
Group
Triads spread around the room. The facilitator rings a chime at each change. Students may choose a light topic if they prefer not to share anything personal.
Related lessons: Active listening and asking good questions, Empathy and understanding others
Speaking up with confidence
Leaders say what needs saying, respectfully. You covered assertiveness and presentations in earlier lessons; here are the essentials to apply today.
- Assertive is clear and respectful; aggressive is clear and disrespectful; passive is respectful but unclear.
- Use I-statements: 'I am worried that ...' rather than 'You always ...'.
- For short talks, a simple shape works: your point, your reason, an example, your point again.
- Slow down, pause, and look at people, not the floor.
Related lessons: Speaking up: assertiveness, I-statements and saying no, Public speaking and presentations
The one-minute stand
Impromptu speaking builds the confidence to speak up in meetings, class and interviews.
- Write ten topics on slips of paper, for example: 'Should school start later?', 'The most useful skill nobody teaches', 'One change for our neighbourhood', 'Is it better to be liked or respected?'.
- Draw a topic, take 30 seconds to think, then speak for one minute using point, reason, example, point.
- Listeners note one strength and one tip.
- Do a second round with a new topic and try to apply the tip.
Solo
Do three rounds and record each one on your phone. Watch the first and the last and note what improved.
Group
Groups of five. Each person speaks twice. The timekeeper holds up a card at 15 seconds left. Clap for every speaker, whatever happens.
Related lessons: Public speaking and presentations
Break
Rest your voice, have some water and a snack.
- Step away from screens.
- Stretch your shoulders and neck.
Feedback with SBI
The Center for Creative Leadership's Situation, Behaviour, Impact model (SBI) keeps feedback specific and fair. Adding Intent makes it a conversation.
- Situation: name when and where. 'In Tuesday's meeting about the bake sale ...'
- Behaviour: describe what you saw or heard, not your judgement. 'You moved on before we agreed the date.'
- Impact: say the effect it had on you or the team. 'I felt worried, because people left without knowing when to bring things.'
- Intent: ask about their thinking. 'What were you aiming for when you moved on?'
- Use SBI for praise too: specific praise is more useful and more believable.
Related lessons: Feedback: giving and receiving it well
Feedback role-plays
Practise giving and receiving SBI feedback in three realistic scenes.
- Scene 1: in a group project, a teammate has missed two deadlines. You speak to them privately.
- Scene 2: your friend asks how their speech for the Model UN went. It was strong but too fast.
- Scene 3: as a junior volunteer at a beach clean-up, you tell the coordinator that new volunteers did not know where to go.
- For each scene: one person gives SBI feedback, one receives it (listening, thanking, asking a question), one observes.
- Observer checks: Was the behaviour observable? Was there a judgement word? Was intent asked about?
- Rewrite one line that did not work and try again.
Solo
Write all three scenes as SBI scripts. Then pick a real situation from your own life and write the SBI you would like to say. Decide whether and when to say it.
Group
Groups of three with role cards. Players can step out of role at any time. Debrief as a whole group: what made feedback easy or hard to hear?
Related lessons: Feedback: giving and receiving it well, Speaking up: assertiveness, I-statements and saying no
Persuading the principal
Influence is about understanding what the other person cares about. You will plan how to persuade a real decision-maker.
- Scenario: a group of Year 12 students at an international school in Sharjah wants a quiet study room open at lunchtime. The principal has said 'We do not have staff to supervise it.'
- Question 1: what is the principal's position, and what might be the interests behind it (safety, staffing, fairness, cost)?
- Question 2: what are the students' interests behind their position?
- Question 3: list three options that could meet both sets of interests (for example, a rota of volunteer prefects with a teacher on call, a trial for four weeks, a sign-in sheet).
- Question 4: write a 60-second opening that starts by acknowledging the principal's concern, then proposes a small trial with a clear ask.
- Question 5: what will you do if the answer is no? Write your best alternative.
Solo
Answer all five questions in your notebook, then deliver your 60-second opening to a parent playing the principal.
Group
Teams of four prepare for 15 minutes. One team member plays the principal for another team, using a role card with two hidden concerns. Debrief: which interests were uncovered by good questions?
Related lessons: Negotiation basics: BATNA and interests, Active listening and asking good questions
Voice check
Take stock of how you communicated today.
- Which of paraphrase, inquiry and acknowledgment came most naturally to you?
- When did you hold back today, and why?
- Add one line to your manifesto draft: 'When I disagree, I will ...'.
Solo
Write your answers in your journal.
Group
Two minutes of silent writing, then a quick round: one word each to describe how you feel about speaking up.
Day 2 quiz
Five questions on listening, feedback and influence.
- Answer on your own.
- Read every explanation.
Block timer
Your journal
Private, saved on this device only. Your answers stay in this browser. They are never sent to us, even when you are signed in.
Day 2 quiz
Score 80% or more to complete Day 2.
1. Which three active listening techniques does Harvard's Program on Negotiation describe?
2. In active listening, what does acknowledging someone's feelings mean?
3. What does the B stand for in CCL's SBI feedback model?
4. Which line is the best example of the Situation step in SBI?
5. When persuading someone, why look for interests behind their position?
Overnight challenge
Have one conversation tonight where you only paraphrase, ask and acknowledge for the first three minutes. Then give one person specific SBI praise.