Doubts, questions and keeping your roots

Moving away often brings big questions about belief, identity and belonging. Questions are a normal part of growing up. This lesson is about finding trusted people to talk to and keeping your connection to home culture and language, whatever you decide.

Questions are part of growing up

• Meeting new ideas and people at university can raise questions about what you believe and why. Many people go through this, and it can deepen faith, change it, or lead somewhere else.
• Doubt does not make you a bad person, and questioning is not the same as rejecting your family or culture.
• Some people feel guilt or fear about their questions. Try to treat yourself with patience rather than panic.
• There is no deadline. You do not have to reach a final answer in your first year, or ever announce one.

Finding trusted people to talk to

• For faith questions, speak with a qualified scholar, imam, priest, rabbi, pandit, granthi or other faith leader you trust. They have usually heard these questions many times.
• University chaplains are a good starting point. Exeter's chaplaincy welcomes people who want to 'explore a particular faith/worldview or spiritual meaning', and offers confidential listening.
• Many chaplaincy teams include people from different worldviews, including Humanist members at Exeter, so you can talk to someone without being pushed in any direction.
• Be careful with online content that pushes you hard one way or the other, or tells you to cut off family. Good guides encourage reflection, not pressure.
• If your family would be upset, you can choose when and how to talk to them. A trusted relative or faith leader may help you plan that conversation.

When questions affect your wellbeing

• If doubts leave you feeling very low, anxious or unable to study for more than a couple of weeks, talk to your university wellbeing service or a doctor.
• Chaplains at Exeter list anxiety, stress, isolation and homesickness among the things they help with, and can point you to other support.
• The Mental Health and Understanding Your Emotions modules explain signs to notice and where to get help.
• If you ever feel unsafe, contact emergency services in the country you are in.

Keeping your home culture close

• UKCISA suggests keeping meaningful objects, such as photos, nearby and finding a supplier of familiar food.
• Join or visit a national or cultural society. UKCISA notes these often mark occasions from home cultures.
• Keep traditions in small, regular ways: a family recipe on Fridays, a weekly call with grandparents, music from home while you cook.
• UKCISA also advises balance: very frequent contact with home, especially at first, can make settling in harder. Aim for regular, planned contact rather than constant messaging.

Keeping your language alive

• The United Nations notes that languages are tied to identity, learning and well-being, and carry traditional knowledge and cultural heritage across generations.
• International Mother Language Day is observed every year on 21 February. It was proclaimed by UNESCO in November 1999 (United Nations).
• If your studies are in English, plan small daily contact with your home language: reading a page of news or literature, a podcast on your commute, or messages to family in that language.
• If you read scripture or prayers in a language such as Arabic, Hebrew, Sanskrit or Punjabi, keep a regular reading time so the skill does not fade.
• Teach a friend a few phrases. Sharing your language is a way of sharing who you are.