Handling big changes: moving away, starting university and homesickness

Moving to a new school, city or country is one of the biggest changes of your life so far, and it can be stressful even when it is exciting. Homesickness and culture shock are common and usually pass, especially if you know what to expect.

Why change feels hard, even good change

• The NHS includes positive life events such as buying a house, having a baby or planning a wedding among possible causes of stress. Excitement and stress often arrive together.
• Big changes take away routines, familiar places and people who support you, all at once.
• Feeling unsettled does not mean you made the wrong choice. It means you are adjusting.
• The University of Liverpool advises avoiding major decisions, such as leaving your course, while you are still settling in. Talk to people first.

Homesickness is normal

• The University of Liverpool reports that nearly two out of three students feel homesick to some extent over their first six weeks at university.
• Homesickness can happen whether you move an hour away or to another country (University of Dundee).
• Signs can include feeling disorientated or muddled, feeling sad or low and taking longer than others to settle (Liverpool).
• Timing varies: some students feel settled quickly, others not until the end of a semester (Dundee). It tends to ease with time.
• Many students feel the same even if they look fine (Liverpool). You are not the only one.

Culture shock: the ups and downs

• UKCISA describes culture shock as the disorientation of moving from a familiar culture to an unfamiliar one. Differences in climate, food, language, dress and unspoken social rules all play a part.
• It often follows a pattern: a honeymoon stage where everything is exciting, then distress and frustration, then gradually growing confidence and finally valuing the differences and trusting yourself in all kinds of situations.
• People move through the stages at different speeds and may go round more than once (UKCISA). A bad week in month two is normal.
• Moving from the UAE, you may notice cold, dark winters, different food, more direct communication styles or different norms around socialising. Expect it, and give yourself time.
• UKCISA notes culture shock can also be a valuable learning experience about your own culture and others.

Practical steps for your first weeks

• Bring home comforts: photos, a favourite blanket, familiar spices or snacks (Dundee, Liverpool, UKCISA).
• Build a routine quickly: regular meals, sleep, study times and activities. Fuller days leave less room for loneliness (Liverpool).
• Join at least one society, sports club or volunteering group. Liverpool suggests aiming to make one or two friends, not a huge group.
• Stay in touch with home with regular planned calls. YoungMinds suggests a regular routine of calls through the week; UKCISA warns that very regular, perhaps daily, contact early on can make settling harder.
• Plan visits home carefully: Dundee notes frequent trips can mean missing social events and chances to make friends.
• Explore your new area and find familiar places, such as a café, a place of worship or a shop selling food from home. UKCISA suggests faith communities and student societies.

Prepare before you go

• Find out where student services, the wellbeing or counselling team and the international office are, before you need them.
• Register with a local doctor once you arrive. Dundee links to a GP registration guide for this reason.
• Agree with your family how often you will talk, so no one worries and you have space to settle.
• Practise everyday skills before you leave, such as cooking a few meals, doing laundry and managing a budget. See the Kitchen Skills, Running a Home and Money modules.

When to ask for help

• If you feel down, talk to friends, an academic adviser or student services (Liverpool), and if the feelings persist, contact your university's wellbeing team (YoungMinds).
• Dundee notes that homesickness can trigger an existing condition such as anxiety or depression. If that happens, tell your doctor.
• University support services are usually confidential and are there exactly for this.
• If you feel you cannot keep yourself safe, ask for help straight away through your university's crisis support or local emergency services. In the UAE, call 999. See the Mental Health module for more.