Perfectionism and the emotional side of procrastination

Putting things off is rarely about laziness or bad time management. It is usually about avoiding an uncomfortable feeling, and perfectionism is one of the most common feelings behind it.

High standards versus perfectionism

• Healthy striving means setting high but reachable standards, enjoying the process, recovering from disappointment and using feedback to improve (Baylor University Counseling Center).
• Perfectionism means standards beyond reach, where anything less than flawless feels like failure, mistakes feel like proof you are not good enough and criticism triggers defensiveness.
• Deakin University's counselling service describes perfectionism as believing you must be perfect to be accepted, so your self-esteem becomes tied to your work and other people's approval.
• Baylor notes there is no evidence that perfectionists are more successful: with similar talent and skill, perfectionists tend to perform less well than non-perfectionists.

Perfectionism is rising

• Researchers Thomas Curran (University of Bath) and Andrew Hill (York St John University) analysed data from 41,641 college students in the US, Canada and the UK between 1989 and 2016.
• Over that period, self-oriented perfectionism (unrealistic standards for yourself) rose by 10%.
• Socially prescribed perfectionism, the feeling that others expect perfection from you, rose the most, by 33%.
• The researchers suggested this may be one factor affecting young people's mental health, but the study shows a trend, not proof of cause.
• If you feel others expect you to be perfect, you are far from alone.

Why we procrastinate: feelings, not time

• Psychologist Tim Pychyl of Carleton University calls procrastination 'an emotion-regulation problem', not a time-management problem.
• We put tasks off to escape feelings such as anxiety, boredom or resentment. Avoiding the task gives quick relief, which is why the habit is so rewarding in the moment.
• But the task is still there, along with the same feelings plus extra time pressure, so stress builds.
• In a study of about 400 students reported by BBC Science Focus, researcher Fuschia Sirois found procrastination predicted more health problems across the term, with stress as the main link.
• Perfectionism often drives procrastination: if a task has to be flawless, starting it feels overwhelming (Baylor, BBC Science Focus).

Spotting perfectionist thinking

• All-or-nothing thinking: 'If I do not get an A star, I have failed' (Deakin).
• Catastrophic thinking: 'If I fail this test, my whole future is over.'
• 'Should' statements: 'I should never make mistakes' or 'I should be able to do this easily.'
• Overestimating failure: expecting to do badly even after thorough preparation.
• When you catch one of these, ask: is this really as bad as it feels, how would a fair friend see it, and is my standard reasonable in these circumstances? (Baylor).

Getting started when you do not feel like it

• Do not wait to feel like it. Pychyl points out that no one said you have to feel like starting before you start.
• Ask: 'What is the very next action?' For an essay, that might be 'open the document and write three bullet points', not 'write the essay'.
• Name the feeling. In a study reported by BBC Science Focus, people who labelled the emotions a task stirred up, broke it into steps and noted its rewards were more likely to intend to start.
• Remove temptations: put your phone in another room. Pychyl notes social media is especially tempting because it meets real social needs.
• Use time limits. Baylor suggests giving each task a fixed block, for example two hours of research, and moving on when time is up, so you do not polish forever.

Be kind to yourself, it works better

• Harsh self-criticism after procrastinating tends to make the bad feelings worse, which makes avoiding the task more likely next time (Pychyl, BBC Science Focus).
• Try writing yourself a short note about the situation in the voice you would use with a close friend. BBC Science Focus reports this is linked to lower stress and higher motivation.
• Set realistic goals. Baylor's example: if you can comfortably swim 15 lengths, aiming for 20 every time will leave you frustrated. Accept 15 for now and improve gradually.
• Deakin suggests basing each new goal on how well you achieved the last one, and recognising that no one is immune to imperfections.
• If perfectionism is causing constant anxiety, burnout or low mood, talk to a school or university counsellor.