Making friends in a new place, and coping with loneliness

Moving to a new school, university or country means starting again socially. Almost everyone finds this hard at first. Friendship takes time and repeated contact, and there are practical things you can do to speed it up.

Loneliness is common, and it matters

• The World Health Organization (2025) reports that about 1 in 6 people worldwide are affected by loneliness, and 17 to 21 percent of people aged 13 to 29 report feeling lonely, with the highest rates among teenagers.
• WHO links loneliness and social isolation to higher risks of depression, anxiety and physical health problems. It also reports that lonely teenagers are 22 percent more likely to get lower grades or qualifications.
• You can feel lonely even when people are around you (CNWL NHS Foundation Trust). Common triggers include moving or changing schools, finding it hard to make friends, feeling low or anxious, and being bullied.
• UCAS reassures new students that feeling lonely, sad or homesick is common in the first weeks, and these feelings usually ease as you settle in.

Friendship takes hours, so plan for them

• University of Kansas researcher Jeffrey Hall (2018) studied adults who had recently moved and new university students. It took roughly 40 to 60 hours together to become casual friends, 80 to 100 hours to become friends, and more than 200 hours to become close friends.
• Informal time counted most: hanging out, joking around, playing games. Time spent working together counted for less.
• So the key is repeated contact: see the same people regularly and invite them to do something outside the usual setting, such as lunch after a lecture.
• Do not judge your new life by week two. A close friendship literally needs months of shared time.

Practical moves for university or a new country

• Before you arrive, join your university's new-student social media groups for your hall, course and societies (UCAS).
• In halls, say hello when you hear people in shared spaces and keep some snacks to share (UCAS).
• Sit in a similar seat in lectures and introduce yourself to the person next to you; familiar faces build up (UCAS).
• Join one or two societies or clubs you genuinely care about, such as a sport, a cultural or faith society, or volunteering. Shared activities make conversation easy.
• Be the one who asks: 'A few of us are getting food after the seminar. Want to come?' Most people are waiting for someone else to suggest it.

Handling homesickness and lonely spells

• Stay in touch with family and old friends, but UCAS advises not going home too early; give yourself time to settle.
• Plan a trip home or invite visitors, so you have something to look forward to.
• Start small: chat to people you see daily, and go to the same places, such as a café, library or exercise class, at the same times (Mind).
• Keep social media in perspective. Other people's posts usually show their best moments (UCAS, Mind).
• Mind suggests planning ahead for difficult times of year. For you that might be Eid or a holiday away from home: arrange a call or an activity in advance.

When to get more help

• Talk to someone you trust about how you feel (CNWL NHS Foundation Trust). At university, contact student support or the counselling service; they deal with loneliness and homesickness all the time.
• Mind notes that talking therapies such as CBT can help if social anxiety is making you feel isolated.
• If loneliness lasts for weeks and you feel low or hopeless, speak to a doctor or counsellor. The Mental Health module explains how to get help.
• Look out for others too: WHO suggests reaching out to a friend who may be struggling. Your message might be the one they needed.