Courage and standing up for what is right

Most people want to help when they see something wrong, but they freeze, assume someone else will act, or do not know what to do. Knowing a few safe options in advance makes you far more likely to act well.

What moral courage is

• Moral courage means doing what you believe is right even when it is uncomfortable, unpopular or risky for you socially.
• Courage is one of the six fundamental values of academic integrity (International Center for Academic Integrity), and CASEL lists the courage to take initiative as a self-management skill.
• Courage does not mean being reckless. Keeping yourself safe while helping is part of doing it well.
• It often looks ordinary: refusing to share a cruel screenshot, sitting with someone who is being left out, or telling a teacher about a problem.

Why people do not help: the bystander effect

• In a 1968 experiment by Darley and Latane, students alone noticed smoke entering the room within about 5 seconds; in groups it took up to 20 seconds, and in five of eight groups nobody reported the smoke at all.
• Diffusion of responsibility: when others are present, each person assumes someone else will act.
• Pluralistic ignorance: people look at others to judge whether something is serious, and if everyone looks calm, each person decides it must be fine.
• Latane and Darley described five steps to helping: notice the event, interpret it as a problem, take responsibility, decide how to help, and act.
• The encouraging side: a 2011 meta-analysis found the bystander effect is weaker in clearly dangerous situations, and a study of over 200 real street conflicts caught on camera found at least one bystander intervened in over 90% of them.

The 5Ds of safe intervention

• Distract: interrupt without confronting. Ask the targeted person for the time or directions, or start an unrelated conversation. This is a low-risk choice if you worry things might escalate.
• Delegate: get help from someone else, ideally someone with authority such as a teacher, security guard, bus driver or shop supervisor. Be clear about what you saw and what you want them to do.
• Document: only if someone is already helping and you are safe, record or take notes, and always ask the targeted person what they want done with it. Do not post it without their consent.
• Delay: afterwards, check in. 'Are you OK? I saw what happened and it was not OK.' Offer to walk with them or help them report it.
• Direct: briefly name the behaviour, for example 'That is not OK, leave them alone.' Right To Be calls this the riskiest option: use it only if you are both physically safe and escalation seems unlikely.

Standing up to bullying, online and offline

• StopBullying.gov advises teens not to take part in public or online shaming. That includes liking, sharing or laughing along.
• Tell your friends why you will not take part and encourage them to stop.
• Tell a trusted adult rather than waiting for it to resolve on its own: a parent, teacher, school counsellor or coach.
• Stay calm and respectful yourself so you do not escalate things.
• If someone might be at risk of harming themselves or others, get help immediately. In the UAE, call 999 for police or 998 for an ambulance. The Personal Safety and Mental Health modules have more on getting help.

Building your courage in advance

• Decide now what you would do in common situations: a cruel group-chat joke, a friend being excluded, someone being harassed in a mall.
• Prepare one sentence for each: 'Not funny, guys', 'Come sit with us', 'Excuse me, do you know which way the metro is?'
• Start small. Each time you act on your values in a low-stakes moment, the next harder moment gets easier.
• Remember that delegating to an adult is not weakness. It is often the safest and most effective choice.