Culture shock and reverse culture shock

Culture shock is the disorientation of moving from a familiar culture to an unfamiliar one. Reverse culture shock is the less expected version: feeling out of place when you go back home. Both are normal, both are temporary, and both can teach you a lot about yourself.

Culture shock, a closer look

• UKCISA describes five stages: honeymoon (differences are intriguing), distress (confusion and isolation), reintegration (anger or frustration and focusing on what you miss), autonomy (more relaxed and confident) and independence (trusting yourself and valuing differences).
• UKCISA calls the angry reintegration stage 'quite a healthy reaction', because it is part of reconnecting with your own values.
• The stages are a guide, not a timetable. UKCISA says people may cycle through them more than once.
• Culture shock is triggered not only by big differences but by separation from family and friends, and by climate, food, language, dress, social norms and values (UKCISA).
• UKCISA stresses that culture shock is normal, usually unavoidable and not a sign of failure.

Small things, big feelings

• UKCISA notes that small things can upset you 'out of all proportion to their real significance'. A missing ingredient or an unfamiliar queueing rule can feel huge on a tired day.
• Important family dates and festivals, such as Eid or a family wedding, can bring loneliness when you are away (UKCISA).
• Missing familiar sights, sounds, smells and tastes is common. Coming from the GCC, you might miss the call to prayer, warm evenings, family gatherings or late dinners.
• Everyday differences in communication can feel personal at first. People may be more direct, more reserved or keep different hours from what you are used to.
• Notice the trigger, name it, and plan a small comfort for next time, such as cooking a familiar dish before a festival.

Your culture-shock toolkit

• Befriend other international students, who understand what you are going through, and also build friendships with local students through shared interests such as sport, music or volunteering (UKCISA).
• Find national and cultural societies; UKCISA notes some celebrate festivals from home.
• Faith communities and chaplaincies can offer a familiar setting (UKCISA). See the Keeping Your Faith module for more.
• Eat a balanced diet and exercise regularly; UKCISA notes this helps your body and helps you meet people.
• Use orientation programmes, the International Office and the counselling service (UKCISA). Find someone who will listen without judgement.

Reverse culture shock: what it is

• UKCISA says you may feel unsettled and like you do not fit in anymore when you return home after living abroad, and that this is normal and to be expected.
• UKCISA explains that family and friends may expect you to be the same as when you left, while your views may have changed, and they have changed too.
• The University of Manchester notes that the first weeks home can bring a high from seeing family and familiar places, so reverse culture shock may not appear straight away.
• Manchester also says returners can feel somewhat alienated, because it is hard for friends and family to identify with experiences they have not had themselves.
• The University of Kansas lists feelings such as disorientation, stress, a sense of loss and value confusion, which can last days, weeks or even months, and stresses that reverse culture shock is only temporary.

Coming home for the holidays: a plan

• Before you fly, think about what has changed for you and what you expect at home, as the University of Kansas suggests.
• Expect home routines to be different from your university routine: meal times, family visits, curfews, who does the chores. Talk about expectations in the first days, calmly.
• Share your experience in small pieces rather than long lectures about 'how things are done abroad'. Ask about their lives too.
• Keep in touch with friends you made abroad (Manchester, Kansas), and keep up a hobby you started there.
• Be patient: Manchester says difficult feelings tend to ease over time. If readjusting affects your wellbeing, speak to your university's support or counselling service.

Bringing both worlds together

• UKCISA notes that culture shock can be a learning experience that builds self-awareness and useful skills.
• The University of Kansas suggests getting involved in international or intercultural activities back home, where your new skills are valued.
• You do not have to choose one identity. Many students keep their home language, faith and customs while adopting new habits they value.
• Write down three things you want to keep from home culture and three things you want to bring back from your new place. Revisit the list each year.