Homesickness in depth: a daily plan and when to get support

Homesickness is the longing for familiar people and places, and it is one of the most common experiences of new students. The Stress and Resilience module introduces it; this lesson goes further, with the signs to watch for, a daily plan and clear points at which to ask for help.

Who gets homesick, and when

• The University of Liverpool reports that nearly two out of three students feel homesick to some extent over their first six weeks.
• Bangor University notes that it can affect students who have left home before, so earlier boarding school or travel does not make you immune.
• It can appear on arrival or later, for example after the winter break or when returning for second year (Bangor, Bradford).
• Liverpool notes that for international students, homesickness, sadness or low mood can be heightened by a new language and country.
• Dundee says it can affect students at any stage of their studies, and that it becomes easier to deal with over time.

Recognising the signs

• Emotional signs listed by Bangor, Bradford and Deakin include feeling isolated, tearful, anxious, irritable, unmotivated or as if you do not belong.
• Thinking signs include constantly thinking about home and the people there, wanting to leave and go home, and guilt about having left people behind (Bradford, Deakin).
• Physical signs can include trouble sleeping, loss of appetite and minor physical ailments (Bangor, Bradford).
• Bangor also describes swinging between spending too much time alone and staying overly busy to avoid being alone.
• Noticing these signs early is useful: it tells you to use your plan, not that something is wrong with you.

A daily plan for homesick weeks

• Morning: get up at a set time, open the curtains and eat breakfast. Liverpool lists eating enough and sleeping enough as basic protection.
• Daytime: go to every class, and arrange one small social contact, such as lunch with a coursemate or a coffee after a seminar.
• Late afternoon: move your body or get outside. Bradford lists exercise alongside sleep and nutrition as priorities.
• Evening: one planned activity (a society, cooking with a flatmate, the gym) and, on your agreed days, a call home.
• Before bed: two lines in a journal, as Deakin suggests, including one thing that went well. Put your phone away so scrolling does not keep you awake.
• This plan is an example built from university advice. Keep it simple and adjust it to your timetable.

Do not bottle it up

• YoungMinds warns that suppressing these feelings will not make them go away, and recommends having coping strategies in place from the beginning.
• Dundee encourages talking to peers rather than keeping feelings bottled up.
• Bradford points out that others may be feeling the same even if they appear fine. Saying 'I miss home a bit' often opens up real conversations.
• If you have no friends to talk to yet, Bangor suggests a tutor, supervisor, chaplain or counsellor.
• Liverpool says admitting homesickness takes strength and honesty. It is not a failure.

Thinking traps and kinder alternatives

• 'Everyone else is fine.' Try: 'Many people feel this; nearly two out of three new students do, according to Liverpool.'
• 'Enjoying myself is disloyal to my family.' Try: 'Bangor says I can feel sad and still enjoy myself.'
• 'I chose the wrong place.' Try: 'I will wait, talk to people and then decide', as Liverpool advises.
• 'It will always feel like this.' Try: 'Bangor's counsellors say these feelings almost always fade.'
• Write your own most common thought on a card with its kinder alternative and keep it by your bed.

When to get support

• Bangor advises contacting the counselling service if homesickness persists and disrupts your social or academic life.
• YoungMinds suggests contacting your university's wellbeing team or mental health adviser if the feelings continue, and says you should not feel embarrassed about doing so.
• Dundee advises telling your doctor if homesickness has triggered an existing condition such as anxiety or depression.
• If you are worried you cannot keep yourself safe, Liverpool says to ask for help straight away through your university's crisis support. Use the local emergency number wherever you are; in the UAE that is 999 for police and 998 for ambulance.
• In the UAE, 800-SAKINA (800 725462, Abu Dhabi, 24/7) and Itma'en 800506 (Dubai Health, 9am to midnight) offer mental wellbeing support. See the Mental Health module for more.