When and how to ask for help

Asking for help is one of the most useful adult skills, and university is full of people whose job is to help you. Knowing who does what, and what to say, makes it far easier to reach out early, before a small problem grows.

Asking early is a strength

• The University of Liverpool says admitting you are struggling takes strength and honesty.
• Mind advises setting up support while things are going well, and says talking to your tutor early can help make sure the right support is in place.
• Mind also stresses being open with your university, because you cannot access support it does not know you need.
• Asking early usually means smaller, simpler help: an extension, a chat, a referral, rather than a crisis later.

Who does what at university (UK examples)

• Personal tutor or academic adviser: advice on your studies. Mind notes some tutors contact you; with others you may need to make the first move.
• Counselling service: Mind says most institutions offer free counselling that is independent of your tutors and doctor, and you can usually refer yourself without a diagnosis.
• Students' union advice or welfare officer: free, independent advice, and referral to outside services (Mind).
• Disability service: support for physical and mental health conditions that affect study, which can include mentoring and specific arrangements for exams (Mind).
• Doctor (GP in the UK): can refer you to services, help with treatment and listen even if you have no diagnosis (Mind).
• Many universities also have an International Office, hall wardens or residence staff and a chaplaincy or faith advisers. Names differ by university and country, so check your own university's support page.

What to say: simple scripts

• Email to a wellbeing service: 'Hello, I am a first-year student on [course]. I have been feeling low and homesick for about three weeks and it is affecting my sleep and studying. Could I book an appointment to talk to someone? Thank you, [name, student number].'
• To a personal tutor: 'Could I have ten minutes to talk about how I am settling in? I am finding it harder than I expected and I would like advice on keeping up with my work.'
• To a friend: 'I have been finding things hard lately. Can we grab a coffee and talk?'
• To family: 'I am OK, but I am finding this month tough. I do not need you to fix it, I would just like to talk more this week.'
• Be specific about how long you have felt this way and what it is affecting (sleep, eating, studying, friendships). It helps people help you quickly.

Signs it is time to reach out

• Bangor University advises contacting the counselling service if homesickness persists and disrupts your social or academic life.
• Mind says anxiety can become a mental health problem if it affects your ability to live your life.
• If you already live with a condition such as anxiety or depression and it is getting worse, tell your doctor and your university's support service early.
• You do not need to wait until things are severe. Feeling stuck, not coping with work or not enjoying anything for a couple of weeks is reason enough to talk to someone.

Help in a crisis

• Mind says that if someone is about to attempt suicide or has seriously harmed themselves, it is an emergency. Call the local emergency number straight away.
• In the UAE: 999 for police and 998 for ambulance. For mental wellbeing support: 800-SAKINA (800 725462, Abu Dhabi, 24/7) and Itma'en 800506 (Dubai Health, 9am to midnight).
• In the UK, Mind lists Samaritans on 116 123, available 24 hours a day for anyone in crisis.
• In the US, the Jed Foundation lists the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (call or text) and the Crisis Text Line (text HOME to 741741).
• Liverpool advises that if you are worried you cannot keep yourself safe, you should ask for help straight away through your university's crisis support. Save that page on your phone in your first week.
• Help is available, and people do get through very hard times. The Mental Health module explains more, including how to support a friend.

Help while you wait

• Keep to basic routines: meals, sleep, a short walk, one conversation a day.
• Mind mentions Student Space, which has a support finder and phone, text, email and webchat support for students in England and Wales.
• Tell one trusted person that you have asked for help, so you are not carrying it alone.
• If things get worse while you are waiting for an appointment, contact the service again or use crisis support. Waiting lists should never stop you getting urgent help.