Being a gracious guest and host

Invitations come with unwritten rules. Knowing them makes you the guest everyone wants back, and the host everyone remembers.

Replying to an invitation

• RSVP means 'please reply'. Saying you cannot come matters just as much as saying yes.
• Reply within a day or two, and always by the deadline.
• 'Regrets only' means reply only if you are not coming.
• Reply in the same form as the invitation (email for email, a note for a printed card).
• Do not ask to bring extra people. 'And guest' means one person; give their name.
• Change a yes to a no only for illness, a family emergency or an unavoidable commitment, and call the host straight away. Never simply not show up.

Arriving and during the event

• Arrive at the stated time or up to about 15 minutes after. Never early.
• If you will be seriously late, message or call the host with your new arrival time.
• Greet the host first, and introduce yourself to people you do not know.

Host gifts

• A small gift is a lovely gesture, especially the first time you visit someone's home.
• Flowers, good chocolates, dates, a candle or something for the table work well. Keep it within your means.
• The host does not have to serve or display what you bring.
• Customs differ: in some Gulf homes a gift is not expected at all, because your presence is the honour (see the Emirati Etiquette module).

Thank-you notes

• Send one within a day or two. It is never too late, though.
• Structure: thank them, name the gift or kindness specifically, say what it meant to you, close with thanks.
• Example: 'Dear Aunt Mona, thank you so much for the beautiful notebook. I've already started using it for my university applications, and it makes me think of you every time. With love, Yasmin.'
• Every gift deserves a thank-you, even if you thanked them in person. A handwritten note is best; email suits close friends and informal moments.

Staying overnight

• Confirm your arrival and departure times and stick to them.
• Bring your own toiletries, make your bed every morning, and keep the bathroom tidy.
• Offer to help, especially in the kitchen. Do not snoop.
• If you break something, tell the host immediately and offer to replace it.
• On the last morning, ask whether to strip the bed. Thank them as you leave and again in a note.

Being a host

• Greet every guest warmly at the door.
• Introduce people who don't know each other and give them something to talk about.
• Stay with a new group until conversation flows, then move on.