Etiquette · Lesson 6 of 21 · 10 min

Sitting gracefully

Sitting well is about poise, comfort and respect for those around you. It matters in interviews, at dinners, in a majlis and on stage.

Sitting down and standing up

Walk to the chair, turn, and back up until you feel it against your calves.
Lower yourself slowly using your legs; do not drop into the seat.
To stand, shift to the front of the seat, put your feet under you and rise in one smooth movement.
To pick something up from the floor, bend at the knees, not the back.
Men in a single-breasted jacket unbutton it before sitting and button it again on standing; a double-breasted jacket stays buttoned.

Sit back in the chair with your back supported and feet flat on the floor.
Knees level with or slightly lower than your hips.
Rest your hands loosely in your lap. Debrett's warns that folded arms look wary and defensive.
Aim for 'easy but dignified': neither perched stiffly nor sprawled.

Crossing at the ankles is the classic polished position for everyone.
Two finishing-school options: knees together with ankles crossed, or knees and feet together slanted to one side.
Avoid sitting with knees very wide apart (manspreading) in shared spaces.
In the Gulf and many other cultures, showing the soles of your feet or pointing them at someone is rude, and crossing legs in front of important guests is discouraged.

In a skirt, dress, abaya or kandura: keep knees together, cross at the ankles or slant your legs, and smooth the garment under you as you sit.
This is adapted from general skirt etiquette; we could not find an official guide specific to the abaya or kandura.

Feet flat, bottom pushed to the back of the seat, back supported.
Screen at arm's length and eye level.
Move at least every 20 minutes of screen time, and do not sit for more than an hour without a break.

Tick each one off when you have done it.

Film yourself sitting down and standing up from a dining chair. Practise until it is one smooth movement.
Try both leg positions (ankles crossed, legs slanted) for five minutes each and choose your default.
Set up your study desk to the NHS checklist.

1. What does Debrett's say folded arms suggest?

2. Which leg position is safest in almost any culture?

3. A man in a single-breasted jacket sits down. He should:

4. NHS advice says that during screen time teenagers should move around every: